A New Year – A New Beginning

I have neglected my blog for so long. I think part of the reason is that I felt like I wasn’t writing for many readers beyond those friends who really know me well and probably aren’t particularly surprised by what I write… and I have wrestled with the concern about being anonymous. I am not ashamed of who I am, but for professional reasons I think certain things should be kept anonymous. So I am going to try an experiment… I am going to start sharing my blog on Twitter. This is a big step for me… just ask some of my friends with whom I went back and forth about even starting this blog. But I’ve made Twitter somewhat more anonymous and protected as well… so here I go!

And so, just in time for this new year, I am committing to working on and sharing this blog. This year feels like a pivotal one. This is my 40th year. I will turn 40 as 2012 ends. That always seemed so old… such a huge milestone. Like when my mom turned 40, she was really OLD (of course, I was 10 at the time…) But I’m not old… I am still young and fun and edgy… and crazy, but that really has nothing to do with age, does it??

Do I really need a warning label?

Sooo… during this 40th year of my life I am making a commitment to work on this blog and make it a reflection of how this year plays out. So far, so good. I had a rough day on my birthday… holidays and such seem to be harder for me now that I am working on feeling the emotions and not just stuffing them. But I allowed myself to have a bad day, I allowed myself to hide away and feel the crap and then calm myself down and then sleep. And the next day was a new day, it didn’t have to be defined by the fact that the day before was crappy. And it was a good day. And I’ve had some more good days since.

Back to work tomorrow after being off for 10 days. For the first time, I feel like I got a lot out of my vacation but I am ready to get back to the routine and to being useful. I make a difference to people in my work and I enjoy that. That keeps making it worth it. So I will drag my ass out of bed go to work with a positive attitude tomorrow. It’s going to be a good year… because I said so! And you know what? I know that doesn’t mean that it will be perfect. I will have really hard days, it goes with the territory. But I am going to remember that there is always tomorrow.

“Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent.”Ā  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sara (@mercurialnature)
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 21:11:53

    LOL! No, you (and your birthday) should NOT come with a warning label. At least, I don’t think so! šŸ˜‰ Accepting the hard times and knowing we can look toward better times is a beautiful goal…one I’m definitely committed to!

    Reply

  2. likeaphoenixfromthefire
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:47:30

    I am very glad you decided to share your blog with us on twitter šŸ™‚ love your writing

    Reply

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