Impulsive

The holidays were hard. I have had a lot of ups and downs since Thanksgiving, really. Throwing my birthday in there, as well as being separated from my family, and I was well primed for a downturn. And I got one. Well, maybe not a total downturn… more of a roller coaster of highs and lows that changed by the moment a lot of ups and downs.

During this time, I came to realize that one of my main coping mechanisms, along with hiding in my bed, is impulsive decisions and behaviors.

im·pul·sive [im-puhl-siv]

adjective 1. actuated or swayed by emotional or involuntary impulses: an impulsive child.

That about sums it up… acting on emotion without thought, like a child. Really, I have been like this for most of my life and never really considered it before. I’ve done some rash things during impulsive moments… never anything particularly harmful, but sometimes with long lasting effect.

Lately my impulses have been a bit more drastic. A tattoo after I said I would never get one. Another tattoo. An online affair. Buying an eReader when I have been so set against the move away from traditional books. The latest? Two piercings in the cartiledge of my left ear. Oh, and this morning I changed the side of the part in my hair… after years of putting it the other way. (That’s a real dangerous one, let me tell you!)

So what do I do about these impulsive behaviors? Right now I don’t know. The rush helps to deal with the pain. It isn’t healthy… but I guess I am an addict that isn’t willing to stop. My therapist has a lot to say about this… and I’m sure I will in the future too.

But, for now, this is me, Ginger: Impulse Girl!

Impulsive Shopping

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sara (@mercurialnature)
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 11:37:40

    You changed your PART?! My hair couldn’t even do that…as a matter of fact, I believe my entire head might just BLOW UP if I attempted it. Just don’t buy a ferret, okay? That seems to be a bad idea. :-/

    Reply

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