Listography – 5 random things I like

From Kate Takes 5 – Top 5 Random Things I like. Following this one word of warning – “random is not ‘I like chocolate’ – that’s just not going to cut it round here. However ‘I like chocolate sauce with my chips’ is getting a bit warmer.”

1. Spending a rainy morning in bed reading a good book and texting with my BFF

2. Having a reason to wear my prescription sunglasses, because I wasn’t able to wear sunglasses for so long

3. The smell of bacon cooking

4. Being able to figure out how to do something complicated on the website at work (even if I pull my hair out in the process)

5. Breakfast from McDonald’s (a guilty pleasure!)

Hey, It’s Okay Tuesday

Today I am using this idea from Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time – basically I make a list of things to be okay about. Here goes:

Hey, it is okay:

That I ate two brownies, three mini pecan pie-thingies (they are less than an inch in diameter), a cider donut and a questionably flavored cookie from our work pot-luck today.

That I read People Magazine and judge celebrities on how they dress

That my favorite breakfast food is McDonalds

That I have many pet peeves. The one that got me (again) today is PARENTS WHO ARE TOO LAZY TO GET OUT OF THEIR CARS TO PICK UP THEIR KIDS FROM AFTER SCHOOL CARE (no, your phone call is not more important than your kids!)

That I wrote “No Touchie” on my creamer bottle in the fridge at work

That I have to work this Saturday, because I have Friday off! YAY!

That my daughter is dressing as a male troll with horns for Halloween

That my husband is making dinner while I type this

Letting go…

Letting go can be the hardest thing in the world for a control freak. Who is the control freak, you ask? Ok, I know you didn’t actually ask because you probably already know I am talking about myself. I am so bad, I hate surprises, I hate the unknown… anything that takes away my control over a situation.

Today I was reading this blog post by a guy with great spiritual energy that I came across on Twitter. This part in particular really spoke to me:

“When I give permission to the others in my my life to be authentically who they are without judgement or needing to control or change them, it is like giving water to to someone dieing of thirst.”
 

Reading on, the idea is that you accept people as they are and let go of the need to control or change them. As I read, I come to see that letting go sets me free. Really, the water that I are giving is to myself. The love and acceptance fills my thirsty heart.

There are a few relationships in my life that I have tried to control… to make into my own idealized version of reality. One in particular. I know I made this person out to be something that they truly are not. And I am learning to accept who this person truly is. I am learning to let go of that dream that I created, because it wasn’t real. I am learning that this person’s authentic self doesn’t make this person a bad person. They are simply different from what my controlling instinct thought they should be. And that is ok. That is real. I take this person and my hurt and regret and disappointment and dreams… and I pull them into a bundle in my heart… and a take a breath… and I let them go.

That space in my heart where all of that was can only be filled with love. I accept and love this person for what they truly are and I will learn accept their rightful place in my life, even if that is out of my life. I say learn on that one because I am not there yet. That’s part of the journey… but I am on my way.

FUF – It isn’t all about you!!!

My first post to participate in Fawk You Friday, hosted by Christy – My Mad Mind

BWS tips button

So I’ve been dealing with this breakup and getting over the, erm, breakdown that I had when it happened. I’m going to write about the whole thing one of these days, I promise. Anyway, I got in touch with the dude during this last week and he actually told me “no one is worth that”. Really? You think that was all about you? You think it didn’t have anything to do with a lifetime of depression and the stress in my marriage and the extreme financial hardship that we have endured for  years on end? Nothing to do with the fact that I was obviously on the wrong meds? Noooo…. it was ALL ABOUT HIM!

Yo, man with one of the biggest egos in the world, FAWK YOU! It REALLY was about a lot more than just you!!!!!

Judgmental people

I hate judgmental people. First of all, my business is my business. Well, no, the compulsive over-sharing thing kinda negates that, doesn’t it? But I don’t put my business out there to be judged, ok? I mean, I’m not judging you for being on Twitter all day and having no life, or for wearing that cat sweater, or for your dumb haircut. Uummm… ok, maybe I am a teeny bit judgmental. I guess it is when people are outwardly judgmental. Like you know when you can just tell by the look on their face? Or by the tone of a comment that they make on Facebook or a response to a tweet? You KNOW you can tell the tone, right?

Ok, maybe I hate people who make me feel like they are being judgmental… you know, because they have that look on their face, or they have that tone! Because then you have to feel like you have to filter yourself around them… you can’t just be you! And, if you aren’t getting the idea yet, I really have a hard time with my filter. Basically it is broken. So then I feel like people are being judgmental about my lack of filter… and I can’t help it!!

Alright, maybe I hate people who make me paranoid… no, really, some people just have it out for me. There is reason to be paranoid! Really!

Alright, the point is, don’t judge me or I will have to have to have a smackdown…

Male cat doesn’t like judgment from furball dog, either

Blogging – therapy for the over-sharer?

I have come to realize recently that I am, in fact, a compulsive over-sharer. Spilling all of the stuff that happens in my life, good and bad, seems to just come as some sort of instinct. And I’ve got those good friends that are always interested in hearing it and friends that listen and maybe just pretend at times to be interested… and then there are those people that I kinda know and I really shouldn’t be sharing certain stuff with. But you know what? Sometimes I do it anyway! And I don’t even think anything of it before I’ve totally proven that I am insane it is too late. Keep in mind, most of this is online sharing… yeah, I am one of those people with a big online group of friends. So I have these instances where I go too far and I imagine people running from their computer screaming and putting my pic out as “beware of this lunatic”. Yeah, I don’t really blame them.

But here’s the thing… this is me. Part of who I am is someone who lets it all hang out. I was out shopping today, enjoying all of the knicky knacks in the stationary store (you know, the one with the Christmas ornaments?) and I came across a wall hanging with the wonderful Dr Seuss quote on it –

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

So there it is… I am me and I’m going to share. And so I’ve decided to use this blog as my outlet for the need to share beyond the people who actually want to hear about it. And those of you reading this will be my captives willing readers because you chose to navigate here! Aren’t you lucky??

So let me thank you, in advance, for indulging this compulsion of mine. I hope you find something useful in all of these ramblings.